Mall Rat.....

You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well that's what it's like when I see a store. Only it's better.

think its the man i am referring to?, i have got news for you,
its not!
its about a problem i have been having for a while now. I'm going through a phrase of complete and utter denial of my financial state. I am a self confessed but not ashamed of it shopaholic! I'm addicted to anything that makes me look and feel good...
isn't every girl?
yes! but i can seem to control mine and its taking a toll on my bank balance...
i don't know how do i stop it?
I'm not sure in my sick head i would want too also..m enjoying it! this blissful feeling of getting something that u don't really need, its just very settling.
its like there is mall demon who take over me when I'm shopping, i cant remember a thing and the only time i come to senses is when its time to hand in the cash.. then it hits me.... what am i doing? i look up at the cashiers face forcing a fake forced smile, plotting my exit,i look left and right finding the easiest way out..and as I'm about to turn to escape; i realise itsssss tooo latee, his waiting for the money with a now almost gonna burst smile....
Live in my head and u will know how complicated it is..
i have two addiction....
one i want to get rid so badly another one i am forced to get rid until a tycoon finds me, falls in love,and we walk into the sunset together....
back to reality sheetal!
The food part somehow in someway I'm accepting it and working on it,but man the shopping part...hmmmmmmm....
Its always been like that for me.... do something that people forbid you to do.i love the thrill, the pull in the heart, the rush i get just to do something i'm not allowed to...
maybe i should start chewing gum, or read up about bugs, or find out how many teeth a crocodile has just to keep my mind off shopping...
piece of advice... do not rely on self help books to help you..it really doesn't work. it actually got me to go forever 21 and get a beautiful black dress for myself.....
Window shopping is never an option for me.. i would eventually reach out the window and touch the item... so thats out!
i need to keep away from malls..period!
i need rehab people! complete isolation from the retail world....
think wanna learn to play the flute....
the government should come up with a new rule. every month all the girls would get subsidiary allowance to buy CLOTHES!
in my ideal world which i live in half the time... the government pays us to look good...hey come on think about it.... we are setting a good image for the tourist...that will flourish our economy... maybe just maybe someone gotta suggest to the government, maybe it can be me!

there I go again...living in my fantasy world.......